Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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