The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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