i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
