Can i not drive my cunt home
I wish i was in the wii world.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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