Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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