can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
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I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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