Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
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Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Enjoy the penises
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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