Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she told me i tasted like america
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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