What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My balls are so social today.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
