Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
His hands were made for my vagina.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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