Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
All the doctor said was why
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
