There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
