why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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