3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
