...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
