it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Welp...herpes.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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