you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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