we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
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I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
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He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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