so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
barbara walters just said penis...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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