And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
