I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
