i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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