standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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