And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
