this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
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Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
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your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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