she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
