i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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