I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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