You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
