So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
