There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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