I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
