and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
