Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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