I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
