There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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