Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
