I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
