Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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