I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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