hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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