She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
