she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
