You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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