This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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