I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
