gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
