honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
