I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
