go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
