I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
