i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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