The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
