Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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