Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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