I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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