We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
