After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
