so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
