I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's shark week go big or go home
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
