forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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