So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
