Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Who haven't you slept with?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  No one comes to mind.

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  (202): Who haven't you slept with? (703): No one comes to mind. http://tfl.nu/pw54
  Replies (7) Good night (1520) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Hey its my first time.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think you mean "it's my first time"

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  (859): Hey its my first time. (513): I think you mean "it's my first time" http://tfl.nu/xwgu
  Replies (55) Good night (706) Bad night (1834)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....

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  (970): Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning..... http://tfl.nu/nrjr
  Replies (16) Good night (2019) Bad night (5088)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.

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  (407): My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options. http://tfl.nu/3za2
  Replies (33) Good night (3830) Bad night (1524)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.

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  (502): If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was. http://tfl.nu/20o3
  Replies (6) Good night (3753) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.

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  (708): I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious. http://tfl.nu/uku0
  Replies (16) Good night (1680) Bad night (3386)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE

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  (480): I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE http://tfl.nu/wmq4
  Replies (5) Good night (2428) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong

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  (740): You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong http://tfl.nu/17fl
  Replies (11) Good night (3208) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?

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  (914): Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case? http://tfl.nu/y5jw
  Replies (8) Good night (2137) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.

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  (832): He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex. http://tfl.nu/fne7
  Replies (11) Good night (2211) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety

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  (+61): On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety http://tfl.nu/7rit
  Replies (9) Good night (2736) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy

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  (214): Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy http://tfl.nu/ff3b
  Replies (6) Good night (895) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life

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  (787): The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life http://tfl.nu/y1id
  Replies (2) Good night (295) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I have a present for you

  (415): View more from California

  Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked

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  (415): I have a present for you (415): Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked http://tfl.nu/cd6u
  Replies (6) Good night (960) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?

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  (330): My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him? http://tfl.nu/xuqr
  Replies (3) Good night (1135) Bad night (266)

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