Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.