the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
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She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
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Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.