Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now