Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...