Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.

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  (707): im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt. http://tfl.nu/7lkv
  Replies (25) Good night (1050) Bad night (540)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.

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  (813): dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though. http://tfl.nu/527j
  Replies (13) Good night (1670) Bad night (588)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines

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  (515): Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines http://tfl.nu/x6qw
  Replies (98) Good night (792) Bad night (3263)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"

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  (248): i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards" http://tfl.nu/4vzr
  Replies (19) Good night (799) Bad night (1987)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses

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  (303): I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses http://tfl.nu/qudw
  Replies (3) Good night (2796) Bad night (553)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name

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  (860): so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name http://tfl.nu/f3l4
  Replies (26) Good night (904) Bad night (8719)
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  (310): View more from California

  the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights

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  (310): the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights http://tfl.nu/wmcj
  Replies (13) Good night (5079) Bad night (1237)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  im bored tell me something entertaining

  (206): View more from Washington

  You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.

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  (425): im bored tell me something entertaining (206): You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam. http://tfl.nu/m0ao
  Replies (48) Good night (1718) Bad night (9919)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.

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  (847): 2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take. http://tfl.nu/jq3u
  Replies (20) Good night (2836) Bad night (1545)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?

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  (913): Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar? http://tfl.nu/6f8e
  Replies (10) Good night (2439) Bad night (875)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.

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  (615): Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often. http://tfl.nu/4yb3
  Replies (9) Good night (2745) Bad night (635)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."

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  (224): I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning." http://tfl.nu/k4en
  Replies (4) Good night (636) Bad night (2086)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again

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  (440): I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again http://tfl.nu/lwkt
  Replies (7) Good night (1644) Bad night (526)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.

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  (207): I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable. http://tfl.nu/3t8y
  Replies (1) Good night (720) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee

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  (941): Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee http://tfl.nu/6d2k
  Replies (0) Good night (215) Bad night (514)

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