Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is. http://tfl.nu/etmn
  Replies (21) Good night (5739) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning? http://tfl.nu/h9gl
  Replies (35) Good night (702) Bad night (3218)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume. http://tfl.nu/rs73
  Replies (31) Good night (4573) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage? http://tfl.nu/cpvo
  Replies (12) Good night (5409) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed. http://tfl.nu/va1q
  Replies (16) Good night (1315) Bad night (4357)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots. http://tfl.nu/eygf
  Replies (5) Good night (3358) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/iiov
  Replies (5) Good night (3629) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it http://tfl.nu/75u1
  Replies (7) Good night (1105) Bad night (1504)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable. http://tfl.nu/ug12
  Replies (3) Good night (1312) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night. http://tfl.nu/6nit
  Replies (10) Good night (2343) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us http://tfl.nu/8tzs
  Replies (11) Good night (906) Bad night (1488)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends http://tfl.nu/blvs
  Replies (3) Good night (1301) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE http://tfl.nu/551z
  Replies (17) Good night (522) Bad night (2371)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today" http://tfl.nu/8gjm
  Replies (3) Good night (685) Bad night (1375)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great. http://tfl.nu/f5oy
  Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (258)

Randomize