it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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