you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
