I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am midnight drunk by noon
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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